The Peace of God
If I were asked to sum up my past couple of weeks, peace of God, would not be in my summary. Words I would include: bitterness, anger, and defeat. Bitterness towards this lifestyle. Anger towards how the minor leagues treats families. Lastly, the feeling of defeat from this season, the feeling of not being able to move one more time.
I’ve honestly felt lost. I’ve struggled to find peace, more importantly the peace of God. Finding people to connect with, churches to attend, and having the support of family is a struggle during the season. I’m embarrassed, ashamed, and dread admitting that I haven’t attended church since I was home back in April. Between the moves, our odd schedule, Greg always being at the field, and having a toddler – time has just gotten away from me. So here I am with my sorry excuses, lost as can be.
Thankfully I connected with another wife on my way back to Chattanooga. I saw her bible and devotionals, heard her talking about bible studies, and I realized how badly I needed God right now. I needed to hear the word, I needed to remember why I am here.
I picked up “One Thousand Gifts – Devotional” by Ann Voskamp and I dove right in.
It’s my new naptime hobby, so long Netflix, we will catch up later. The introduction to the book was a reminder to slow down. To read every word with purpose and to reflect on my life. This is my time with Jesus, my time to unwind, my time to find peace of God.
Devotion 1: Surprising Grace
“Could it be – no one receives the peace of God without giving thanks to God?” – Voskamp
Remember how I described my feelings about the past few weeks? I’ve been doing it all wrong. In the midst of our struggles, I need to look for grace. Voskamp, shares about sacrifice – something that is not easy, but is sacred. Therefore, a sacrifice of thanks, means I praise God, always.
“He who is grateful for little is given much laughter… and it’s counting the ways He loves, this is what multiplies joy.” – Voskamp
How can I find joy with bitterness, anger, and defeat running through me? How can I connect with God with those feelings? How am I honoring God or giving thanks to Him, by acting this way?
So here are some things I am thankful for:
1.) My husband, healthy, hard working, great father, and great husband.
2.) My happy healthy and energetic son.
3.) My family, all the way across the country, but always there for us.
4.) My organic, fair trade cup of coffee while I sit and read my devotional.
5.) A clean place to live with an actual mattress
“There is this: We give thanks to God not because of how we feel, but because of who he is” – Voskamp